


Island of Isolation

by Bladesilverred



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blue is sad again, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Yellow helps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-08 08:34:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21473116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bladesilverred/pseuds/Bladesilverred
Summary: Blue runs away to Earth with some heavy feelings.
Relationships: Blue Diamond/Yellow Diamond (Steven Universe)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 59





	Island of Isolation

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy some angsty Blue!

Blue was on Earth. She’d been there for cycles. 

At first, when she warped onto Earth from Homeworld, she had meant to talk to Steven. She had shapeshifted down as small as her gem allowed her and walked up to the temple, about to call Steven’s name. But the words died on her tongue when she heard a cacophony of laughter from within the house. She had stood outside, watching through the mesh door at the family within, as they sat in front of the TV holding some kind of controllers.

She had felt a pang in her heart as she watched Steven and the Quartz, Amethyst, smack their hands together triumphantly. It appeared as if they had won something, maybe a game. Then the taller two gems pretended to pout until Steven embraced them.

A smile crossed her lips as she watched, seeing the love they showed for each other. Her mind wandered to her own family. White, who was trying to be more involved with her and Yellow, but was naturally still standoffish. It would take more than a few years to change millenia long habits. And Yellow.

Her eyes began to prickle. She had left the house, her feet silently carrying her back to the warp pad she had come from. Stepping on it, she kept her mind blank, wondering where it would take her. 

Where she landed was some tropical island. Thankfully, it seemed to be deserted, save for some small organics. But no humans and certainly no gems. She was alone.

Keeping her form small, she laid down on the beach, the water gently lapping at her feet. She sighed. 

_It’s good to see Steven so happy. I’m glad he didn’t stay with us on Homeworld, I think he would have been miserable._

Her thin fingers began to comb through her hair, something she often found herself doing when she was lost in thought.

_He’s done so much for us...helping us all learn to be happy again. Even White. So much has changed, and so quickly. It’s nice to have some freedom now. It’s nice to see Yellow have some time to relax._

Her fingers catch a tangle and she frowns while unworking it. She feels her shoulders droop as her mind wanders to the reason she came to Earth.

_Yellow…_

Tears begin to pool in her eyes. She swipes at her face angrily.

_Why do I always cry? I’ve cried for six thousand years already. Why can’t I just be strong like Yellow?_

Blue lowers her hands from her face, feeling them ball up into fists. 

_But I’ve always been weaker. I could never best her in combat or war strategy. She has hundreds more colonies than I do._

Tears are now pouring from her azure eyes. 

_She’s so...perfect. I love her so much._

A blue light bathes the air around her. 

_I just wish I could do something to deserve you. You stayed by my side for so long, loving me when I couldn’t love you back. Working for the two of us, even though it must have killed you. Oh, Yellow._

Blue lets her tears turn to sobs. They’ve built up in her chest for quite some time. She had promised not to use her powers to make others cry, as a change for the new Era. She made an effort to wait until she was alone in her chambers to let it out. 

But it proved difficult, with her and Yellow growing closer. The golden gem seemed to have a sixth sense for when her counterpart was upset. 

So she had fled to Earth, wanting to give her lover time for herself. Not wanting to burden the hard working gem with her own useless emotions. 

The sun rose and set, casting shadows on the crying Diamond. High tide came and water washed over her form, which had returned back to its normal size, burying her gently under a thin layer of sand. When the waves lowered, her copious tears etched little rivers in the sand. 

Here she lay, lost in her torturous thoughts. Sometimes, sobs would break through her chest and other times, she lay still, tears streaming down well worn paths. 

When all her tears have been shed, she sits up. Sand slides off her draping robes and long white hair. 

Sighing, she pulls a small device from within the folds of her dress. Yellow had designed new technology at the beginning of Era 3. As she opened it, screens projected out in the air in front of her. The device functioned as a tiny control board, making it easy to work outside the often stifling palace walls. 

_You should do something, you useless hunk of rock,_ she thinks to herself as she pulls up a series of reports. 

Her fingers dance around the screens as she works. Although her duties have lessened with the new Era, the blue gem was determined that she would attend to each and every one. 

After finishing her last report, she stares blankly ahead of her, mind as empty as the screen in front of her. 

Just as she’s about to sink back into the sand, a soft ping sounds and her screen glows brighter.

Across the screen reads a message: 

_Blue, _

_I haven’t seen you in a few cycles. Would you like to meet in my sauna?_

_Yellow_

The azure gem feels tears well up in her eyes once more and she hangs her head. 

_Just forget about me, she thinks, go see Steven, White, Spinel… anyone would surely make you happier than spending time with me._

No sobs accompany her tears this time. She sits still, her hair forming a curtain in front of her face that sways gently in the wind.

She lets herself stay in the position for a few seconds before looking up to dismiss the message. Her face twists into a scowl as she searches for more work to complete. Refreshing the screen, she waits for her gems to finish their reports. They slowly trickle in. In Era 3, work was completed slower than before, to give gems more free time. 

But Blue is determined, and checks every submission as it comes. She even begins drawing up a prototype for a new structure for her colonies. It’s a building to allow gems to listen and perform art, something Steven had suggested. 

Another ping comes as she’s working, bringing another message from Yellow. 

It simply read: _I miss you._

Blue’s brows furrow and she forces herself to dismiss the message. Fighting against new tears, she thinks, _You don’t need me. You’re better off without me._

She raises a shaking hand to pull up her blueprints once more. Tirelessly, she works. She consults Peridots to confirm her calculations and contacts Bismuths to begin the first prototypes. Once she is satisfied that her project is complete, she leans back, closing the device. 

Watching the sky above her, she allows herself rest. She watches the sunrise, bringing birds that sing cheerful songs. Then fluffy white clouds float past, breaking up the light blue sky. Finally, the sun sets once more and the light flashes yellow, orange, and red as it fades into night. 

Once the last rays of sunlight disappear beyond the horizon, Blue decides her break has been long enough. Just as she’s opening up her device to check on her building’s progress, a voice sounds behind her. 

“There you are!” 

_Yellow._

The voice continues, “Your Pearl said you had gone to Earth, but no one had seen you in quite some time. Steven and I went to every warp pad on this planet looking for you! Well, until he got tired and went back home to sleep.” The golden gem lets out a chuckle at the last statement. 

Blue doesn’t turn around, instead continuing to pull up images on her screen. She feels the other gem come closer to her, leaning over her shoulder to peer at her work. 

“These look great, Blue!” Yellow says brightly. “Who would have guessed that in Era 3 Blue Diamond would be stuck working as Yellow Diamond tours the Earth with Steven,” she finishes, playfully pushing Blue. 

Blue’s torso falls forwards, head bowing as her hair falls around her face. 

Yellow pauses before asking, “Um, was that too hard? I’m sorry.”

She gets no response. The golden gem stands awkwardly for a few moments, staring at the hunched figure in front of her. Then she sees Blue’s shoulders shake. 

“Blue, what’s wrong?” she asks, her voice soft. She takes a step forward, placing a hand on robed shoulders. 

Blue flinches at the touch and jerks her body further forwards. She grits her teeth, cursing the tears that spring from her eyes. 

_“Pathetic,”_ she snarls to herself.

She hears Yellow walk around her, boots making soft crunching noises in the sand. Then she feels her crouch down in front of her. “Blue?”

The other Diamond’s concerned voice only makes her tears fall faster. She wills her shoulders to be calm, pressing her lips together to suppress a whimper. 

A golden hand reaches through the curtain of hair, finding her chin, and gently nudging it up. “Oh love,” she gasps, catching a look at the pained expression on Blue’s face.

“What’s wrong?” she repeats.

But Blue just wrenches her head away, tilting it down to the sand beside her. 

“You don’t need to be here,” she mumbles.

“I want to.” Yellow’s voice is steady, calm. 

“Just leave me alone. I’m sure you have more important things to do than to sit here with me. I’m just crying again,” she says bitterly. 

Yellow sits down, her knees pushing up little hills in the sand. “You’re more important right now.”

Blue doesn’t answer, as she draws her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. 

“What can I do?” Yellow asks softly, before adding, “I would do anything for you.”

The crying Diamond’s head snaps up, her eyes glowing indigo. 

“Why?” she hisses, “I’m not worth anything!”

“What are you talking about?” Yellow asks, lifting a hand to cradle the other’s cheek. “I’m here for you.”

Blue leans back to avoid the touch. “You’ve always been there for me.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Yellow blinks in confusion.

“Yes” Blue wails, burying her head back into her knees, “because I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you!” 

“Did I do something to make you feel this way?”

Blue lets the question hang in the air before responding quietly. “No, you’re wonderful. You treat me so well, even when I’m a crying mess. Even though I _am_ a mess.”

“Blue—”

“No, Yellow,” she interrupts, “all this time, you’ve been there, doing all this work, almost cracking yourself from all the stress. But you still found time to comfort me when I was sad. I don’t deserve it. I never have! I’ve always been so much weaker than you, I could never do what you do. I don’t know what you see in me to make you think I’m worthy of your love.”

Yellow is silent as she carefully chooses her words. “You don’t need to do anything to deserve my love. I want to give it to you, even if you don’t think you’re worthy.”

When Blue doesn’t respond, she speaks again, “Please let me in. Let me help you.”

She feels a hand on her shoulder, but she doesn’t pull away, “You’ve done enough,” she says quietly, “You don’t need to stay here with me any longer.”

Despite her words, Blue finds herself relaxing into the embrace she’s pulled into. Yellow begins stroking her hair, letting the silky strands flow between her fingers. 

“Why do you stay with me?” she whispers.

Lips brush the top of her head. “Because I love you.”

“I don’t deserve you,” Blue repeats.

Strong arms hug her tighter. “Yes you do. You deserve everything in the universe.”

“I’m a mess. I don’t know how you put up with me. I don’t even want to be around me.” Her words turn bitter again, and she slouches down further, hating herself. 

“Do you remember when I said that I alone was there for you? Back when we fought, right before I pushed you through a wall?”

Blue’s head bobs up in surprise. “Yes, I do. Why?”

“Because you alone were there for me. You’ve always been there, next to me. To cool my temper, bring sense into my rash plans.” She pauses. “Bringing beauty into my life. Even in all your times of mourning, you still cared about me. You comforted me too, I remember it all.”

“I suppose. But that still doesn’t feel like it compares.” Blue lets her head fall back down to her knees.

“I wish you could see yourself from my eyes,” Yellow says. She begins to rub small circles on the other gem’s back. 

They sit in silence for a few moments, until Yellow feels the tension begin to fade from her lover’s shoulders. 

“Blue?”

Blue raises her head, her eyes still shining with tears, that no longer fall. “Yes?”

“Will you let me hug you properly now? Please don’t make me beg, it’s unbecoming.”

Cobalt eyes roll up to the sky as the azure gem releases her hold on her knees. She lets Yellow guide her head to rest on her armor covered chest. Blue wraps her arms around the other Diamond and sighs.

After a few moments, Yellow says quietly, “When we get back to Homeworld, I will give you a list of all the reasons you deserve me.”

Blue’s head tilts up to face Yellow’s. “You really wrote a list?”

Golden lips pull back into a smile. “No, but I will.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
